Confidence
Three Strategies to Blast Through an Overactive Inner Critic
The voice telling you not to speak up in the meeting is not protecting you. Three things that work, tested on myself first.
My inner critic is loud today. Loud and powerful.
I call her Nancy.
And she’s a beee-yyyyatch.
Today, she is nit-picking EVERYTHING.
Everything I see is not good enough.
‘Well, it should have said this. OMG how could they possibly think this is good? Holy crap, it’s all going to fall apart. No one can do anything right. I can’t do anything right!”
This is the typhoon of my inner critic. (Thanks, Nance.)
Certain days, like today, she swirls around me and I can barely see ahead.
How does one cope?
1. Tell People You’re Grouchy
They already know – you may as well tell them. And ‘grouchy’ is such a fun word. People don’t get too mad when someone says they feel grouchy.
In fact, they usually chuckle.
On that note, a little advice: pick a warm and fuzzy word to describe your inner turmoil.
Phrases like “I’m pissed today” or (this one’s fun when acted out): “I’m freaking the f#&k out!!!!!” tend to cause more harm than good.
So, give ‘grouchy’ a try. Or persnickety. Or, like, a grumpy goose. Something slightly silly, yet not at all mean or angry.
Then, when someone says, “How are you today?” you can say:
“Eh – I’m grouchy today. All good, though; I’ll feel better tomorrow. How can I help?”
Then you can proceed with business in a compassionate way.
It’s effective.
2. Get The Gunk Out
Writing is my creative expression. I give Nancy two pages each morning to wax poetic about everything she sees that’s wrong with the world. Then I close that notebook and get on with life.
To make that actionable: figure out what gets those feelings out for you, then do it in a simple way every day.
Paint. Sing. Smash things. To each their own, man.
But get Nance ‘outta there.
It’s the only way to keep yourself moving forward.
3. Give Yourself A Break
There’s a lot on your To-Do list and likely much more on your Vision Board. #BigWorkBigGoals
On days when your inner critic is loud, work on what feels right, while proactively communicating to ensure intended goals are met or adjusted with clarity.
Then give yourself grace and find a smile the next time Nancy appears. She might not be so scary (or right) after all…
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